valkyrien:

phasmids:

do you ever stop and realize that people probably discuss you from time to time when you arent around to witness it

not even in a specifically positive or negative way just like

people mention you, or think of you, you occur to people sometimes

that’s the most unnerving thing that i can think of, that’s so weird, that i exist to people when i’m not even interacting with them

I do, and it is sometimes horrifying. Mostly because I can’t imagine it happening without imagining that I’d only ever be brought up as a point of ridicule or because they had complaints about my inadequacies that they wanted to share and get out of their systems.

I honestly can’t see why anyone would bother with it otherwise, for all J’s constantly telling me about how she bores people with talk of me and my various traits and exploits and what I look like when I’m drinking tea, and C’s always talking about how she tells her friends about me so they know who I am - which is still all a little scary because it makes me realise that I am a fixture in their lives that they consider relevant and at least semi-permanent.

Certainly makes me work harder at being a good friend and a good person in general. There are always going to be bastards who’ll say awful things about you, but it would be nice to think that you inspired positive or at least neutral mention among friends and acquaintances when you’re not around to hear it.

This relates to another post I saw recently, asking whether people think about their Tumblr friends IRL, which I frankly found a ridiculous question, because of course I think about all of you. I wonder or worry about the lot of you—things like…

if gorgonetta is going to run out of activator again at the worst possible moment,

that joyfulpantsbuttlol isn’t going to be able to leave the house & will get sick from living on takeout food,

how adorabelledearheart can possibly justify liking Andy Taylor over Nick Rhodes,

if I’m ever going to actually meet braingaius & gypsyhoney at a Cinematic Titanic show,

how ergygerg’s sales of her beautiful designs are doing,

if gypsyjr can somehow write a thesis that allows her to get college credit for watching that many hours of Psych,

if sylviawrath is really going to move to Saskatchewan,

how my darling chmchm is doing with that whole self-disclosure thing,

if trumpetsandbookmarks will get to go to school in the UK,

if ptconscious has gotten any more acting jobs (or if his adorable doggie has an agent yet),

if mr_craig has talked to Mr. Partridge on Twitter yet,

how glitterblood is contending with the small-minded peasants in her town,

if princessche will ever forgive me for taking so bloody long with her banners,

if asteroidproject will sell his Scott screenplay & get any input in casting,

why amoelbarroco hasn’t received more awards for her design work,

why threeoranges doesn’t have a job at the Scott Polar Research Institute like she totally should,

how soon before illyria13 grabs her psycho ex by the po-po’s & does to him what he did to her self-esteem (you go girl!!)

if asstrangeasiambeautiful has confronted any assholes on the subway yet,

if partizany is getting her photos ripped off again (grrrr!),

if onlythefinestvat69 will be the next to fall victim to The Hiddles, if she hasn’t already,

if benedictus-of-asgallifrey’s parents have called her any more weird animal names in Spanish,

if katjaanderson will write the followup to The Power of Style, (if anyone can do it, she can)

if I can ever persuade theloudestvoice to move back to SF so we can hang out sometime,

if mooganbaby had to ffwd past the more gory bits like I did with the recent installment of River Cottage,

if aggiephile’s inner critic will ever pipe down about her lovely colorization work,

if I should admit to captainsuspenders that growing up in California made me hate the Beach Boys (though I’m all right with them now),

if I can ever get Waltmouse & Lithearium to watch We Were Here (which I saw recently & loved),

how perfectchichi is adjusting to single life in her first apartment,

how hardheadedme can find work that is more fulfilling & less soul-draining,

whether I’m ever going to actually meet rawkchikk & give her a BIIIIIG snuggly-wuggly hug for being so awesome (that goes for most of the folks on this list, really),

how ravenskyewalker is coping with her bitch of a boss (though I know she’ll tell me in a few days—yay!),

how tea-with-theo & her mum are doing health-wise,

how alittleoblivion is coping with her post-op mom (I hope Dad & the kitties are helping!),

if idlesuperstar and cinemaocd have any idea how much their posts can make me smile & laugh first thing in the morning (a herculean, near-impossible task)…

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I talk about y’all, too. Only good things, valkyrien, especially where you’re concerned. I talk about how impressed I am with how incredibly advanced you are for your age (the same thing was said about me waybackwhen—feels a little odd being on the other side of things now!). I also talk about the amazing strength & grace you’ve shown in dealing with several untenable circumstances, any one of which would fell a lesser mortal, yet you continue to fight the good fight, day after day, How could I say anything but good things about you, after all? *smooch* Silly-billy… :)

(Source: partyshoggoth)